What is a Gentleman? 5 Key features
Are you like me? Are you sick of the pretentious ‘Mens Lifestyle/Self Help’ accounts on Social media? Do you think they’re all rubbish? Or maybe you actually try and take some of their advice onboard. Do you end up feeling like something just isn’t right? Odds are, you’ve seen the hashtag ‘#Gentleman’ being bandied about on Socials like Tik Tok or Instagram, with those posts usually featuring a good looking guy in an expensive suit, with an attractive girl on his arm and a rental Lamborghini in the back. Sound about right? Well im here to tell you that its all bollocks. In the 21st century, If you really want to be a gentleman, then there’s a few key features that you’ll need, and believe me, a Saville Row suit is really not high up on the list.
1) MannersRule one here guys. You have to have basic manners. You can have the most expensive suit ever made, Margot Robbie on your arm and a 250 Testarossa in your garage, but if you don’t have manners, you aren’t a gentleman, youre an asshole. Mind your p’s and q’s, keep your feet off the seats and FOR HEAVENS SAKE chew with your mouth closed. This is the very cornerstone of being a gentleman, and one you really need to get down. Treat everyone with dignity and respect, from the busboy to that girl at the bar you’re into. This is step 1.
2) A level head. When shit starts to fly and everyone is panicking, someone has to come up with a plan. A gentleman is cool, calm and collected, and is always looking for a plan of action. Because people remember that. If you are ranting and raving because things aren’t going your way, it makes you look like a petulant child, and people do lose respect for you. Try and keep cool. Now, I get that sometimes remaining calm under pressure is easier said than done, so you can really help yourself here by
3) Having the right equipmentA real man uses the right tool for the right job. To use anything less is stupid. Benjamin Franklin himself said ‘To fail to Prepare is to prepare to fail’. Maybe your job involves a lot of note taking. In that case, why would you not have a pen in your pocket? It’ll save you a hell of a lot of headache when you’re racing around the office looking for a notepad to take down an address or phone number over the phone. Take 5 minutes out of your morning to ensure you have all the necessary equipment you need for the day. At a bare minimum I believe you should have with you 3 things at every moment of every day; A good watch, a good knife and a good handkerchief (ill explain why in a later post). Add and subtract according to your needs. Of course, having the right equipment doesn’t count for shit if you don’t know how to use it, so number 4 is
4) Staying prepared mentallyTeach yourself some skills. You don’t need to be a master of everything, but you do need a basic grasp on a few things. Learn basic First Aid, learn how to change a tire, learn how to throw a punch, learn basic DIY (and I mean basic. Seriously guys when you do some looking into it it isn’t hard to fix a leaky faucet). The idea here is that you want to be the guy people can call when they need a hand. Someone at work burned themselves badly? You know how to patch them up before the trip to the hospital. Remember skills don’t take up any space in your bag, and with the internet now it doesn’t cost anything to learn.
5) A purpose/ a goalAlright guys bitter pill here. If you are not looking to improve yourself you WILL be miserable. Now I don’t have any scientific proof to back this up but I have long held the belief that man craves a goal. Think about it. The richest men on Eath, who have Millions (scratch that. They have BILLIONS) in the bank, a beautiful wife, a loving family, everything they could ever wish for. So why do they go to the gym? Why do they start second, third, fourth businesses? Because they have to. There’s something in a man's soul that isn’t satisfied unless he’s reaching for that next rung on the ladder. Now Im not saying you should be aiming to be the First Man on Mars or the Man who Cured Cancer. It can be small. It could be that you want to run a 5K in the summer. It could be that you want to renovate the bathroom by yourself. It could even be that you want to save enough to buy your child that expensive toy. Goals are crucial to keep you on track, and believe me when I say you NEED one. I’d also suggest here a creative outlet. I’ve found that really helps. Maybe an instrument, or woodworking (one of my favourites), or painting, or writing, anything really. So long as it involves you making something and learning a new skill. Give yourself a reason to keep pushing. And thats 5. Told you it wasn't going to be like what those influencers say. If you take these 5 things on board in your daily life, you'll be doing better than 50% of other guys out there. Onwards and Upwards guys!
Are you like me? Are you sick of the pretentious ‘Mens Lifestyle/Self Help’ accounts on Social media? Do you think they’re all rubbish? Or maybe you actually try and take some of their advice onboard. Do you end up feeling like something just isn’t right? Odds are, you’ve seen the hashtag ‘#Gentleman’ being bandied about on Socials like Tik Tok or Instagram, with those posts usually featuring a good looking guy in an expensive suit, with an attractive girl on his arm and a rental Lamborghini in the back. Sound about right? Well im here to tell you that its all bollocks. In the 21st century, If you really want to be a gentleman, then there’s a few key features that you’ll need, and believe me, a Saville Row suit is really not high up on the list.
1) MannersRule one here guys. You have to have basic manners. You can have the most expensive suit ever made, Margot Robbie on your arm and a 250 Testarossa in your garage, but if you don’t have manners, you aren’t a gentleman, youre an asshole. Mind your p’s and q’s, keep your feet off the seats and FOR HEAVENS SAKE chew with your mouth closed. This is the very cornerstone of being a gentleman, and one you really need to get down. Treat everyone with dignity and respect, from the busboy to that girl at the bar you’re into. This is step 1.
2) A level head. When shit starts to fly and everyone is panicking, someone has to come up with a plan. A gentleman is cool, calm and collected, and is always looking for a plan of action. Because people remember that. If you are ranting and raving because things aren’t going your way, it makes you look like a petulant child, and people do lose respect for you. Try and keep cool. Now, I get that sometimes remaining calm under pressure is easier said than done, so you can really help yourself here by
3) Having the right equipmentA real man uses the right tool for the right job. To use anything less is stupid. Benjamin Franklin himself said ‘To fail to Prepare is to prepare to fail’. Maybe your job involves a lot of note taking. In that case, why would you not have a pen in your pocket? It’ll save you a hell of a lot of headache when you’re racing around the office looking for a notepad to take down an address or phone number over the phone. Take 5 minutes out of your morning to ensure you have all the necessary equipment you need for the day. At a bare minimum I believe you should have with you 3 things at every moment of every day; A good watch, a good knife and a good handkerchief (ill explain why in a later post). Add and subtract according to your needs. Of course, having the right equipment doesn’t count for shit if you don’t know how to use it, so number 4 is
4) Staying prepared mentallyTeach yourself some skills. You don’t need to be a master of everything, but you do need a basic grasp on a few things. Learn basic First Aid, learn how to change a tire, learn how to throw a punch, learn basic DIY (and I mean basic. Seriously guys when you do some looking into it it isn’t hard to fix a leaky faucet). The idea here is that you want to be the guy people can call when they need a hand. Someone at work burned themselves badly? You know how to patch them up before the trip to the hospital. Remember skills don’t take up any space in your bag, and with the internet now it doesn’t cost anything to learn.
5) A purpose/ a goalAlright guys bitter pill here. If you are not looking to improve yourself you WILL be miserable. Now I don’t have any scientific proof to back this up but I have long held the belief that man craves a goal. Think about it. The richest men on Eath, who have Millions (scratch that. They have BILLIONS) in the bank, a beautiful wife, a loving family, everything they could ever wish for. So why do they go to the gym? Why do they start second, third, fourth businesses? Because they have to. There’s something in a man's soul that isn’t satisfied unless he’s reaching for that next rung on the ladder. Now Im not saying you should be aiming to be the First Man on Mars or the Man who Cured Cancer. It can be small. It could be that you want to run a 5K in the summer. It could be that you want to renovate the bathroom by yourself. It could even be that you want to save enough to buy your child that expensive toy. Goals are crucial to keep you on track, and believe me when I say you NEED one. I’d also suggest here a creative outlet. I’ve found that really helps. Maybe an instrument, or woodworking (one of my favourites), or painting, or writing, anything really. So long as it involves you making something and learning a new skill. Give yourself a reason to keep pushing. And thats 5. Told you it wasn't going to be like what those influencers say. If you take these 5 things on board in your daily life, you'll be doing better than 50% of other guys out there. Onwards and Upwards guys!